Dear Non-Pregnant People of the World:

This was posted on one of my birth boards and I couldn't help but copy and paste it. I post this with a laugh, don't take it -too- seriously, though do take it somewhat seriously ;) The guidelines for after the baby is born also pertain to women who may not have given birth, but now have a child. Hope you all enjoy!!

I hope you find these guidelines helpful in your interactions with pregnant women, as failing to follow them may result in serious physical harm. If you are thinking, surely she doesn’t mean me – then you should probably read this twice.

1. The appropriate response to a couple telling you they are having a baby is ‘Congratulations!’ with enthusiasm. Any other response makes you a jerk.

2. Through the wonders of science, we now know that babies are made ONLY by the mother and father – not grandparents. Unless the baby is in your uterus or you are the man that helped put it there, you may not ever use the phrase ‘my baby’.

3. On the same note, unless you made the baby as defined in 2, the pregnancy, birth, and raising of the child are not about you. You do not have input. No one wants to hear your opinion unless they ask for it…

4. The body of a pregnant woman should be treated the same as any other body. You would not randomly touch someone’s stomach if they were not pregnant, nor would you inquire into the condition of their uterus, cervix, or how they plan to use their breasts. Pregnancy does not remove all traces of privacy from a woman.

5. Likewise, no woman wants to hear comments on her weight…ever. A pregnant woman does not find it flattering that you think she is about is pop, must be having twins, looks swollen or has gained weight in her face. Telling her she looks too small only makes her worry that she is somehow starving her baby. Making such comments invite her to critique your physical appearance and you may not act offended. The only acceptable comment on appearance is ‘You look fabulous!’.

6. By the time we are 20-30 years old, most of us have picked up on the fact that the summer is hot. We are hot every summer when we are not pregnant. We don’t need you to point out that we will be miserably hot before the baby comes. Nor do we need to know how badly you will feel for us because we will be pregnant during the summer and how glad you are that YOU will not be pregnant this coming summer.

7. There is a reason that tickets to Labor & Delivery are not yet sold on Ticketmaster. Childbirth is actually not a public event. It may sound crazy, but some women really do not relish the idea of their mother, MIL, or a host of other family members seeing their bare butt and genitals. Also, some people simply feel like the birth of their child is a private and emotional moment to be shared only by the parents. You weren’t invited to be there when the baby was created, you probably won’t be invited to be there when it comes out either.

8. Like everything else in life, unless you receive an invitation, you are NOT invited. This includes doctor appointments, ultrasounds, labor, delivery, the hospital, and the parent’s home. You do not decide if you will be there for the birth or if you will move in with the new parents to ‘help out’. If your assistance is desired, rest assured that you will be asked for it.

9. If you are asked to help after the birth, this means you should clean up the house, help with cooking meals, and generally stay out of the way. Holding the baby more than the parents, interfering with breastfeeding and sleeping schedules, and making a woman who is still leaking fluid from multiple locations lift a finger in housework is not helping.

10. The only people entitled to time with the baby are the parents. Whether they choose to have you at the hospital for the birth or ask for you to wait three weeks to visit, appreciate that you are being given the privilege of seeing their child. Complaining or showing disappointment only encourages the parents to include you less.

Sincerely, All the Pregnant Women in the World

Nothing New and Exciting Pertaining to Pregnancy, But...

Tonight is the first rehearsal for Sound of Washington! Sound of Washington is one of my (several) passions in life. It is a choir for people with special needs. We get together, have fun, sing, and at the end of each session (about 3 months long) they perform for the community and their family and friends. This is an opportunity for them to socialize, to have fun singing and learning new songs, and to feel a sense of accomplishment for a job well done. I know some people do not appreciate the struggles and hurdles of a person with a disability, I know I didn't much before I was exposed to it first hand. I have come to love the individuals who sing in the choir, who each has their own special skill. Yes, some of them may not actually sing words, but I don't believe there is a single one who doesn't verbalize in some way and nearly all of them enjoy playing the instruments. And I believe that everyone deserves music in their life. While I understand that Sound of Washington may not be the ideal setting for everyone, it works for our friends who attend.

And...that's not my only good news. Today I scheduled my prenatal massage!! I was invited to be a friend of a "Willow Day Spa" on facebook and wasn't really sure who it was, but checked out the friends in common and realized it had to be somebody from my high school. I went ahead and friended them and they posted the other day about ordering a new prenatal pillow for the massages...piqued my interest, for obvious reasons! Anyway, I sent them a message on Facebook and asked them to call me and set up an appointment. Got a call back today and I'm booked for next Wednesday!! I can't WAIT! Nothing makes a woman feel good like a REAL massage. I know, those ones our hubbies give us do make us feel special and relieve some tension, but let's face it ladies, I'd bet most of our hubbies aren't nearly as good as a professional!! It was actually my husband who encouraged me to get it. I mentioned the deal I saw on Facebook and said it would be nice, but the hour drive to and from would make it cost even more :( thinking he'd agree and we'd drop it. He immediately said "just do it." I did a double take while trying to hide it. Not my typical husband, suggesting I go spend money frivolously. Anyway, that's my other great news. I love a good massage. Plus that's a GUARANTEED 3 hours to myself (i.e. no kids screaming and fighting, no messy house to look at and wonder where to start cleaning) and an hour of relaxation. AH! I'm feeling de-stressed already, and it's still a week away! Speaking of stress, I had better go get in the shower so I can get my kid from school in time to make it for his doctor's appointment...ah, the life of a mother. Busy and blessed.

Another Ultrasound!!!

And yes, I DO have pics, so if you're super impatient you can scroll straight down to them and skip all of the profound things I have to say and miss out on all of my words of wisdom (it's 8:30PM and I'm EXHAUSTED, so really, I doubt there's going to be much that makes sense typed tonight, so I really won't be upset to find out that's exactly what each and every one of you did!). However, if you're kindhearted and patient, you can stay here and read what I have to say.
Henry and Emily opted for the first trimester genetic screening rather than the second, as 1st trimester is something like 92% accurate and 2nd is about 88%. To be honest, I don't recall having the option last time I was pregnant, but that really doesn't mean much, I'm a wonderfully forgetful person! Anyway, I had the pleasure of driving up to the University (and everyone around here knows what a pain in the butt it is to get around in!) and get a level 2 ultrasound and a blood draw. Let me just say that I'm VERY glad I do my OB care in ANYWHERE other than the U!!! I put nearly 100 miles on my truck just going there and back (and no, that doesn't count my little jaunt over to Hobby Lobby afterwards), plus I had to find a darn parking spot in the ramp, pay for parking, go DOWN the elevator in the ramp to get to the skywalk, then BACK UP inside the building to the floor I had parked on, then wind my way halfway through the building to find the correct clinic. Can I just say that I DESPISE going to the University?? They generally give amazing patient care, it's not that, it's just SO much WORK to find where you're supposed to go!!!
OK so back to the narrative: the ultrasound was A-MAZ-ING!!! In Washington you have to climb your big pregnant butt up on the table thingy, then contort yourself all weird to see the screen, plus the tech has to contort so that you can see the screen. Then when you're done, you need help getting up because you have a full bladder AND some part of you that is essential to moving has seriously fallen asleep! This was like the ultimate luxurious ultrasound. She had me sit in a chair, I wondered how that was going to work. Then magically she pushed a button, like at the dentist, and the chair began to recline and my feet went up until I was lying down!! Then I look slightly up and there, hanging from the ceiling, is a monitor. Didn't think anything of it at first, but then I realized it had my information on it and I was going to be able to see the ultrasound images on it!!! Oh it was FANTASTIC!!!! She measured the neck and said everything looked good there, showed me the stomach and the heartbeat, which was 157. She printed off 3 pictures, 2 profiles and one where the baby is waving! Emailed them to Emily last night and she LOVED them!! So I'll let you get to the good part, here's the pictures:

Profile #1

Profile #2

Here's the one where little Dorothy or Hunk (yes, we even have faux baby names!) is waving to Emily and Henry!

I HAVE PICTURES!!! (And cravings and food aversions)

So here's the ultrasound picture. I finally won the battle with my printer/scanner (BEFORE I bought more ink!! BWAHAHAHA!!! Yes, I TOTALLY won!!) and I was able to scan that baby in here!!
That's all I really have to share, sorry to lure you in with lucrative post titles, but a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do!! Hope everyone has a fantastic week, I'm planning on it. As soon as this cold goes away, at least.
My IM started back to school today, lucky duck! That means she won't be at my beck and call to keep me entertained when I want someone (adult) to talk to, so I'll have to find another adult to chat with when I'm bored (or avoiding household duties ;) yes, we ALL do it!!)
Right now I'm trying to figure out what to make myself for breakfast. I have a friend who has a blog about food and she was raving about some interesting egg sandwiches she had the other day, and now I want an egg sandwich with bacon. Bacon's in the freezer, then I have to cook it (which I absolutely DESPISE doing!), so I'm debating whether or not it's really worth it. We'll see.
For all my followers who are mommies: What were your cravings or food aversions? Me, I'm constantly craving mexican, salty and spicy. Food aversions: BBQ and anything that I craved a half hour ago lol (except mexican, salty and spicy)

First Official Prenatal Visit!

Yesterday was my first real prenatal visit. It was pretty amazing! Had a medical student in there with the doc, apparently it was quite helpful to him that I let him do the exam and pap, that way he saw on the ultrasound machine what a 10 week fetus/uterus looks like, then felt it during the exam. That was VERY interesting, I've never had so many people in the room checking out my private parts when I've not been in labor!!
So anyway, they did an ultrasound yesterday, that was pretty cool to see. The doc actually snapped a pic of the machine with the pic on it during the ultrasound and messaged it to Emily, it was neat! (he assured me that that was all he had taken a picture of and showed me that he had deleted it afterwards lol)
Then we got to preregister. BOY, was THAT fun...ugh! Turns out the hospital wants the ENTIRE max out of pocket, and they want it all BEFORE the baby is due, which is in 7 months. HOW RUDE!! That's just over $350 per month, which is a LOT of money!! So long story short, we're going to try to explain to them that technically the drs office will be entitled to some of that as well, and since the drs office bills AFTER the birth, they won't have to pay it all up front and they will be able to EAT while they're waiting for their baby lol!
So yes, we saw the baby, she's seen the pics, I'll see if I can figure out how to post one on here, but no promises. Next appointment is in February, just have to go to Iowa City sometime in the next 2 weeks to get the genetic testing done, just a blood draw, no big deal.
So, I guess the next big update is in a month. Like I'll be able to hold off till then!! Hope evreyone's having a great start to 2011!!! Blessings to you all!!!

Nurse Visit Day

Had my appointment with the nurse from my OB clinic today. It was purely giving medical history, labs, pee in a cup, and organizing some details for when Henry and Emily come to appointments. I did actually happen to speak with the doctor today, but only because he came in the room to give the nurse some info for another patient, and he re-introduced himself to me, and I got to meet the medical student. Not sure if the medical student is a long-term thing, but he was easy on the eyes, if you know what I mean ;) Both the nurse and the doctor had some questions for me about surrogacy, it was kind of like I was the circus freak but I totally understand.
There was one interesting event that transpired: our due date may have changed. I'm having trouble (as is Emily) figuring out how we got our guess at a due date, but using the wheel and going by both when I ovulated AND my last period (I know TMI, sorry!) she said it gives us a due date of August 1st, give or take a day or 2. Anyway, the good news about that (there's 2 bits of it) are:
1. Emily will have more time with the baby before going back to school if s/he is born at the beginning of August rather than the end.
2. Due to the confusion, it ups our chance of having an ultrasound on Friday. The nurse said that between that and the "special circumstances" we might get one, but she was afraid to sound too sure, so I won't get mad if he doesn't do one, I'm sure.
Anyway, for the new possible due date, it looks like we're at 10weeks 1day.
So that's been my day, I had a HUGE craving for Taco Bell, so I went and got myself a chalupa and some nachos for lunch, which were FANTASTIC with some lemonade (now I understand the connection between mexican food and lime margaritas), the chips were so WONDERFULLY salty, the chalupa was perfectly seasoned and had just the right amount of hot sauce on it, the lemonade was the perfect sour addition, oh, it was like Heaven in my mouth! That is officially the first craving that I have fulfilled that I have actually liked the flavor of once I got it!!
Oh, and for those of you who like these things: all bets are on girl at this point. With the boys (yes, both) I craved sweets, the mere thought of sugar turns my stomach at this point. Also, a chinese gender predictor online said girl (I checked and it said boy for both of the boys). Henry and Emily are excited yet apprehensive at the thought of a girl, I just told Henry he needs to oil up his shotgun and he'll be fine ;) I have heard something about some method of telling sex by the placement of the placenta (left or right) on the ultrasound early, so I'm going to ask which side it's on as there are a group of us on my mom's board who are curious and have decided to do this just for fun. I'll let y'all know!!
Friday is my wonderful first visit with the OB, pap (can we say oh yay?) will be done then, and I think we will register for the payments. Ought to be interesting!!
Oh, and I am not allowed to say any names, but I just have to spill it: I have a friend who is also pregnant now!!! She thinks she is due around Sept. 1, so we will get to be pregnant together this summer!!! WAHOO!!! Have a fantastic week, everyone, I'll catch ya up on the due date (hopefully) on Friday!