It's next week!

Yep. My first prenatal appointment is next week. I meet with the nurse on Tuesday then one of the doctors on Friday. Emily and Henry haven't completely decided if they're coming up for it yet, but I figure whatever happens, happens. It's not like there's going to be anything overly exciting (for them) done at this appointment. Just a pap and weight and ask if I have any questions. I think I dread the weight the most ;) but I'll deal with it. That's all I really have for now, still at the boring point, this is starting to kill me!! Waiting waiting waiting!!! AAAHHH!!! We'll get through this, though, and eventually get to where the baby will start moving and we can feel it and have an ultrasound probably at the end of March. I'll update next week!

A sad week.

This is a sad week for me. Everything is OK with the pregnancy, I'm sure that's going to be everyone's first question. I'm sad because I am quitting my job as a direct care provider to people with special needs. Yes, just like every single other job I've had, there were days when I wished I didn't work there (mostly because I was tired and wanted to stay home and sleep or because I wanted to spend time with my family!), but really, this is one of those jobs you just fall in love with and can't imagine yourself not being a part of.
Bubba's hours have changed and in order for me to continue working there, I would have to pay out more in daycare than what I'd make, so it just wouldn't make sense as our daycare generally is to come out of my paychecks for our budget to balance.
I will still get to see a lot of my friends from work at Sound of Washington, but I'm just not sure it will be the same, plus it's not in session year-round, so I may have to make a few house calls to those I won't be seeing around town.
I am at peace with my decision to quit, it only makes sense and I am looking forward to seeing my kiddos more. Of course, I'm a bit worried about taking time for myself, but I'm sure I can schedule it in somewhere. So to all of my friends out there that live near me (or will be visiting the area anytime) get ready for more invites out!!!
I know this isn't really surrogacy related, but I just had to have an outlet. Thanks for listening, everyone! Hope you all have a blessed Christmas, it's only 4 days away!! Oh, and I have a cute little Christmas story to share with you:
Zach was eating 2 cookies last night on a plate that had a reindeer on it. He took the second one and broke it into 8 pieces for Santa's reindeer! That boy LOVES his cookies, I was surprised to see that!! He's very very excited for Christmas to come, he thinks he's getting a dirt bike because "Santa said I could have one." Ah, if only it worked that way!!

more pregnant

Yep. I'm more pregnant than I was last time I blogged. Don't feel it, don't look it (at least that's what I'm telling myself). Just still sittin here makin a baby. We were throwing around the idea of doing an ultrasound when/if they come up for the first appointment, but when we called the imaging company to price them, it's $266. So that may or may not be in the plan right now! Although we did find out that IF there's twins (always a possibility) the after 20 weeks ultrasound would be around $280 for a singleton and add another $200 for the extra fetus!! YIKES!! Kinda says "shame on you for having twins" huh? Oh well. Whatever happens happens. This is your update, nothing exciting is going on. This weekend will be 5 weeks pregnant. Yippee!!

Pregnancy, week 4

Yes, I'm just a day or 2 away from 4 weeks pregnant. Strange, huh? I don't really feel any different, I had a bad couple of days as far as nausea goes, but I was exhausted so I think that contributed to it. I have noticed an increase in appetite (but really, I think I just have an excuse to eat more, so I do ;) you all know me!) but not that "get me some food or I'm going to either puke or pass out" feeling.
I have my first OB appointment scheduled for the first week of January, I should be about 8 weeks then. Emily and Henry are unsure if they are going to come to the appointment, but it's completely up to them. Of course, they would kind of like to see an ultrasound, but that doesn't typically happen until about 20 weeks. They will be here for that for SURE! I was told there is a very slight chance that they will do one in the office at that first visit, but I'm not so sure about that. I'm not going to discourage it, but I'm not going to hold my breath on it. Either way, they're going to be excited, I know.
Anyway, that's my boring update on the pregnancy. Somebody give me some ideas of what to blog about: is there a particular aspect of surrogacy you're curious about? let me know and I'll do my best to explain or answer you. I'm planning to do another update before Christmas, we'll see if I find time ;)

For sure!!

We are now FOR SURE pregnant. I went in Tuesday for a blood test and got the results yesterday. POSITIVE. I would have updated yesterday but our computer has decided it's going to have a mind of it's own and didn't let me online yesterday...and today it's giving me fits, wanting to open some pages, but not letting me open some...we'll figure it out sooner or later!! Or we'll replace the darn thing!!
Anyway, yes, it's now completely official, I HAVE SOMEONE ELSE'S BUN IN MY OVEN! And Bubba's OK with it! :D

Another Home Pregnancy Test Says....

Well, we weren't sure what the faint faint second line meant on the HPT that came with the OPK. So yesterday I ran to the store and got one of those ones that you can use up to 6 days earlier (yippee). Here's what it said:
















I'M PREGNANT!!!












MY IP'S ARE GOING TO BE PARENTS IN 2011!!!












Anyway, just thought I'd share with you all. Kind of makes this Monday morning not so bad. :D Emily and Henry are ecstatic, as am I. Both of them were pretty much speechless. They're going to be GREAT parents!!! Have a great week, everyone!

Pregnant?

Alright. Tomorrow was to be the day that I should POAS (they suggest waiting 16 days after you get a positive OPK to POAS). Of course I couldn't wait that long! I tested Friday and again this morning. Both times got a faint 2nd line. Not really sure what this means, as with the OPK a faint 2nd line meant BFN (big fat negative). So for now I'm still just operating as though I'm pregnant (taking my prenatals, eating healthy (well, as healthy as I can eat...I'm a midwestern gal, we don't eat THAT healthy as a rule!), and not engaging in "dangerous" things (so yeah, my cocaine habit has been stalled ;) as well as my heavy daily drinking lol!). Anyway, just thought I'd keep y'all updated, I'm really not sure what to think. I don't want to get my hopes up too much, I can't stand the letdown when AF comes :( Hope everyone had a fantastic Thanksgiving holiday and remembered what it's really about. Looking forward to Christmas and the New Year. Hopefully Emily and Henry will get to be parents in 2011!!

Another horrid 2ww

Yes, we have yet ANOTHER 2ww. In about 2 weeks I'll be able to POAS (pee on a stick, AKA home pregnancy test) and hopefully get a BFP!!! So for now it's just praying, crossing my fingers, and doing everything as though I'm pregnant. We'll see how it goes!! 2 weeks is an awfully long time!!!! Will update as soon as I know something!

BFP!

Just took an ovulation test and got a BIG FAT POSITIVE (BFP)!!! Henry is headed here to do an insem this evening, hopefully this will be the one that sticks!!! Everyone pray and keep your fingers crossed!!!!

The 2ww is over!

FINALLY we're not left wondering! I'm glad to know for sure now. Aunt Flo decided she was going to drop in again, so we're FOR SURE not pregnant. :( But there's always next month!! Emily and Henry were a bit bummed, but they're still looking up. Let's all hope that next month is the one!!! Keep sending us those sticky vibes, and remember, knowing it's a no is better than not knowing at all!

The dreaded 2ww!

We are currently in the midst of the two week wait (2ww). These are the 2 weeks between insems/ovulation and waiting to see if Aunt Flo stops by this month. So for any of you wondering, I don't know if we're pregnant yet. I should know by next Friday or so. And for those of you who want to (and have already!) asked, I don't know if we are yet, I don't feel like I am but I don't feel like I'm not. Keep in mind that with both boys I didn't know until I was at least 6 weeks along, I think I was about 8 weeks when I discovered Bradin. So I'm going to rely more on a test than my gut feeling. I'll let everyone know when there's an update to be made, but it won't be for probably another week. Sorry to disappoint!!

Contract and insems...interesting business!

The contract is now signed and we have done 1 insem. VERRRRY interesting process!! I won't go into too much detail as it's quite embarrassing to discuss, but if anybody has questions I suppose you can email, call or text me. I'll just say that laying for 45 minutes (yes, I took it to the extreme) with your feet in the air (yes, another extreme) at 10:30 at night is not the most comfortable way to watch a movie! I've read different places that 15-30 mins is how long you should lay with your hips elevated. I figured if 15-30 is good, 45 is better, right? And they suggest 3 pillows to elevate your hips,but either our pillows are much thicker than the average pillow (which I would NOT believe) or other women are able to bend themselves over backwards much easier than me, because with my hips elevated that much, there was NO way I was going to be able to put my feet down!!
Anyway, that's the insem. Everyone send us some sticky vibes and say lots of prayers!!

Home Insemination...complicated or not?

OK so I know it's been FOREVER since I posted, but REALLY all I've been doing is ovulation testing. I promise!! Anyway, we are still waiting for the attorney to get back to us with the contract (going to have to call in the morning, as we need it ready so we can do an attempt this week). Emily and Henry are coming up this week and we're going to (provided the contract is signed) attempt home insems this week. Now, I've heard several different ways of doing this. One lady told me you have to use a speculum on yourself so you know where to aim "the goods", another used a speculum to do intrauterine inseminations on herself at home (NO WAY!), and yet another simply used a medicine syringe on herself and it worked for her the first time both times. We're going to attempt the medicine syringe style and cross our fingers!! I'll let you all know soon how the insems went!!

Still Testing

Well, I'm still just doing the ovulation testing. Not quite sure yet when I actually ovulated, if I did, but let me tell you, this is not easy!! It's kind of like when you WANTED that first kid. You were praying and crossing your fingers for a second line. Oh well, I've heard that things take about a month to get back into working correctly after you go off the pill. So we may or may not try to do an insem in September. Anyway, that's pretty much all the update I have for y'all. Getting the contract ready to go, we're almost ready to sign it!! Just have to get through this holiday weekend to have the attorney check it out, then we should all be ready to sign it!! Then it'll REALLY be official!! Have a great holiday, everyone!

Ovulation Testing....Not for the Faint of Heart!

Yesterday was my first day of ovulation testing. What an experience!! I had pictured it quite differently, but as usual it was not as I had imagined! I woke at about 5:55 (of course, since my alarm was set for 6). I was kind of excited about the testing, so I went ahead and got up. Unbeknownst to me, so had my 5-year-old. So I knew it was going to interesting from the start. When you buy the kit I bought, it comes with 20 test strips in a little canister. It says in the instructions that they're only good for 30 days after you open it. Guess who was more curious about the tests than reading the instructions? Yeah, that's me. So I opened the canister a week ago, but it's OK there's only 20 tests. But I digress. Back to the narration: it's first thing in the morning. I'm still groggy, and I have an audience who is FULL of questions. I open the canister of tests and get one out. No problem. Then I pull out the enclosed cup for peeing in. Problem. Have you ever ordered something to go from a mom & pop restaurant and had your condiment come in a little plastic cup with a lid? That's the cup they gave me to pee in. I tried, I really did, but no matter where I'd put the cup, my stream managed to go RIGHT BESIDE it! (sorry, I know this is not a post you're going to want to read while eating your wheaties) Needless to say, if I'm successful with this ovulation kit thingy, I'll be able to pee in a soda bottle by the end of the month! Next I do the dip, then wait the 5 minutes it tells you to wait. Of course it's negative, my least favorite auntie packed her bags and left the day before, but it was an experience I'll never forget!
Have a great day everyone!!!

Moving Forward!

We are officially matched.  We shook (and hugged) on it today!!  We've contacted an attorney about drawing up a contract and are awaiting a response, I've been given the OK to get ovulation test kits and begin testing and charting, and now we're just waiting on the contract to be done and signed so that we can start insems.  We've decided none of us are going to do psych evals.  It seems to be a waste of money when you've familiarized yourself with each other so well.  I know, I know, its for everybody's protection, but I just don't think we have much to worry about in that department, we all know everyone else is a bit crazy ;) hehe!  SOOOO....if anybody has any tips on little things you can do to get preggers, let me know.  I've heard of eating pineapple (not gonna happen, it makes me sick) and eating beans.  Anything else??  Anyway, I'm just so excited to announce that I am in fact going to be a surrogate mother.  I wasn't sure we would make it to this point!!!  I love my IPs!! Henry is still pretty shy, but Emily makes up for it :D They're just a fun couple!!
I better get going, sounds like I'm going to get blown away in a storm in a minute!! Stay safe!!

We're A Match!!!

I and the boys met Em and Henry yesterday evening after I got off work for supper at Pizza Hut.  They were FANTASTIC!!!  Poor Henry is so shy, he pretty much just sat there and smiled, but he interacted very well with my kids, so that's good.  If he can do that with a stranger's kids, he'll be a great daddy!  Em and I did most of the talking, we were all pretty nervous, but we're all glad we got the initial nervous meeting out of the way!  After Pizza Hut, they followed me to my house and we talked and talked some more.  They had a few questions for me as far as the contract goes, and I had a few for them.  I sent the 2 sample contracts with them, and my "price sheet" thingy.  We discussed a few options as far as insems go, such as how many nights to attempt per month, stuff like that.  I think we'll be buying an OPK (ovulation predictor kit) and I'll have to start using it soon.  We got lucky, my pill cycle ends tomorrow!  I was kind of nervous that they wouldn't like me, and of course they were nervous that I wouldn't like them, but they already felt like family to me.  I haven't talked to Henry much before now, but still I've seen so many pictures and heard so much about him, I just feel like they're not strangers. 
So they're coming back today for lunch and more talking and to meet Bubba.  They said our kids were beautiful (which I know they are hehe) but its always good to hear it from the outside.  I think Henry and Bradin really hit it of.  Although Zach was quite a charmer, too.  He actually jumped into Henry's lap at one point and was being silly.  I hope they (and I) didn't scare them off!! Although I did get a text last night when they got back to their hotel saying they had found their way back and wouldn't be running off tonight lol. 
It's amazing to me that they were so nervous.  I mean, they're looking to see if they want me to carry their baby, they are checking me out physically to see if I look like a fit person for that.  They're also checking out my kids to see if they want a child that might have some traits similar to my kids.  The only thing I looked for in them was to see how they acted around my kids (which, for a first time nervous visit, they did amazing! At bedtime I had to tell Zach it was time to stop and they stopped playing with him and got unexcited looks on their faces so he would stop playing.  How perfect!!) and if they creeped me out (which they didn't).  I will be very comfortable handing their baby over to them, with the understanding that I will still be in touch with them after they go home. 
Anyway, that's how it went yesterday evening, it was like a dream come true!!!  I'm going to go finish my potato salad for lunch today and get ready for the day! Hope everyone has a fantastic day!! I know I will!

Nervous!!!

They're coming tomorrow, I think!!!!  It's about 9 hours from them to us, so they left or are leaving today, they are planning to spend tonight somewhere about halfway here, then coming the rest of the way tomorrow and are going to stay int Mt. Pleasant.  Bubba is on night shift tonight and tomorrow, and has to go in an hour early tomorrow, so we decided that after I get off work (if Henry agrees to this) that they might grab pizza or something easy like that and bring it to my house and we'll hang out a little bit.  That way the initial meeting is over with and we won't be so nervous about Friday.  And Alicia is coming over tonight after Bubba leaves for work and we'll get those cobwebs and bathrooms taken care of, then I'll just have the last minute stuff like vacuuming and picking up toys to do and we'll be ready for company!!! Plus, if they see the house clean tomorrow evening, I won't feel quite as pressured to have it as clean for Friday lol!  Anyway, gotta go take my big boy for his checkup so he can go to kindergarten this year!!  He's getting SO BIG!!  And I'm such a proud mama, he has an owie he says the dr. needs to look at while we're there.  We'll see if he remembers it.  Have a great day, I'll try to update tomorrow evening or Friday morning, but I can't promise anything until Saturday!!

Names!!

So I've been following another FANTASTIC surrogacy blog.  This woman needs to be a writer or columnist or something if she isn't already.  Anyway, she found a great way to get around calling her IPs just IM and IF and stuff.  She calls them Lucy and Ricky, their son is Little Ricky and the baby is Enzo.  SO....we decided (IM and I, she sort of follows it as well) that it would be a great idea to "borrow" so we're going to do it!!  She and the IF have decided upon Emily and Henry (from wizard of oz) and then the baby will be Dorothy or Hunk (or both if needed)!  So, that's my update for now.  I've been cleaning up the house, added a new piece of artwork in the front bathroom, just to update it a bit, organized the kitchen cupboards, cleaned off the kitchen table (yes, I actually have one!), reorganized the living room so it's more usable, lots of little stuff like that.  I think I'm almost ready for Em and Henry to come!!  Just need to get my good friend Alicia to come over and get the cobwebs and the bathrooms for me (it will be TOTALLY worth the money!! I hate bathrooms!!) and I think we'll be set!!

Just over a week!!

Well, the date has changed, but only to move it up one day.  So now they will be visiting August 13th, that's next Friday!!  Of course I'm getting nervous and freaking out about the house being clean and such (those of you on facebook probably have seen a little bit of that lol) but I know I need to just relax.  I've printed off 2 sample contracts and we are going to go through and fill them in sort of, then take that info to the attorneys to have the actual contract drawn up, should all parties decide to continue on after next weekend. 
Also, we are looking at filing our own step-parent adoption.  Since I'm married, any child I give birth to is considered Bubba's.  a step-parent adoption (from what I understand) simply states that the IM is the mother of the child and that Bubba and I relinquish our parental rights.  For an attorney to file this costs $3000 plus expenses.  Ouch.  In order to save money, it sounds like we're going to try to do it ourselves.  Talk about a nail-biter!! I tried to sleep through government in high school, so I know as little as possible about the legal system!  Fortunately I have a friend who is married to a lawyer who has referred me to a professor at the University.  I have yet to call that professor, but I have the number!!
Anyway, that's the update as to what has (or hasn't) been happening lately.  Just a lot of us chatting online and texting and realizing how much more alike we are than we originally thought! 
Oh, and I read another surrogacy blog where the surro gave her IPs and the baby nicknames.  So I'm seriously considering ripping her idea off...I'm going to have my PIPs weigh in on the nickname suggestions! We'll see what we come up with!
Everyone have a great week, expect a huge update (hopefully good!) next weekend!!! Say a prayer and cross your fingers next Friday!!

We Have A Date!!

(We think!)  It sounds like August 14th is going to be it!!  It works for both of us and they will be driving up and staying somewhere around here.  It sounds as though we might be working out contract details while they're here as well!  We've made some plans as far as insems go, but nothing solid, just to attempt home insems for a few months before involving medical professionals. We're not even sure if we're going to use instead cups or syringes, so we REALLY have some planning to do!!  Anyway, things are on the move, and we just have some other legal junk to figure out also.  We're debating on filing the step-parent adoption ourselves (a $50 filing fee with a court appearance vs. $3000 for a lawyer) but haven't figured that out for sure yet.  I need somebody who's familiar with family law to advise me for free...anybody know anyone? haha!  Anyway, keep us in your prayers that if this is the couple for us, that everything works out wonderfully!  I'm getting more and more tired of jumping hurdles and not knowing.  A little solidarity would be nice for a change! Have a great week!

Upcoming Visit!

Well, I finally had a chance to visit with my prospective IM this morning.  They returned from their vacation late last night.  It sounds as though they will be headed this way to meet myself and my family.  Not sure of when that's happening yet, they need to look at dates and such to see when they can come, but it sounds like they'll be coming on a Friday and leaving Sunday, so it will be a pretty quick visit.  I'm trying to decide if we should plan anything specific for Saturday or not, like dinner at a specific place, or just let things happen as they happen.  We will have to stay at our house some, as B will be needing naps and such, and we're just not THAT exciting lol.  I'll do my best to fill everyone in when I know something, but I think these might be the ones for me!! They seem so like us, it's kind of creepy!  Everyone have a good week!

matched?

Well, after letting the Texas couple down gently, I sent an email to the KY couple who are currently on vacation.  It's been a LONG weekend of waiting, and this morning I caught her online on Facebook, and just as I was typing hello, she went to offline :S so I sent her a text message.  I asked if they were back from vacation yet, I didn't want to bug her on vacation, but did she get my email.  She said she had and hadn't been able to access a computer to respond, but she thinks we are a good match and that she likes me a lot!!! SO....Kentucky it might be!!  They're a really cool couple, I hope it works out with them!  Just wanted everyone to know! Have a great week!

An Interesting Development

Well, Bubba got the opportunity to chat on MSN messenger to the guy from Texas.  Long story short, the guy gave Bubba a bad feeling.  (to be honest, I didn't have a feeling, good or bad, about this couple yet) I was asking him how the chat had gone and it took a while for me to get out of him that the guy weirded him out.  So today I had the horrid task of emailing them and letting them know that it wasn't going to work out.  My dilemma was that I didn't want to say "my husband thought you were weird and pushy and told me that he hopes I can escape when I wake up chained to the wall in your basement".  I said that a friend had asked me to be their surrogate and that I had decided to go with them.  I just didn't say it was a friend I hadn't met yet :S I felt awful, like I was completely destroying someone's dream :( Anyway, there is still the couple from KY, they left yesterday for vacation, I don't remember if it's just for the weekend or what, but I sent them an email explaining that my husband had gotten a bad vibe about the other couple so I had declined to move forward with them.  I knew the KY couple had been talking to another surrogate, so I asked where they are with her and whether or not they think they'll want to move forward with me.  I secretly hope that she checks their email on vacation and responds to me soon, and that it's good news!  We seem so alike, both us ladies and our hubbies.  A few minor differences, like replace our harleys with ATVs and they do more active outdoorsy stuff, like swimming and such, than we do, but our attitudes and temperaments seem a lot alike!  So, there's my update for today.  I've managed to break a heart in Texas, hopefully mine won't be broken when I get a response from Kentucky!  Everyone have a great day!

Plan C? Or D?

The dear friend of mine who was going to travel to Texas with me had a tragedy in her family, so I have a feeling she will want to stay home rather than travel.  So I have been searching for a backup and discovered that one of my cousins is willing to go with me!  We will have to change the date if she goes, but I will still be going.  So right now I'm just waiting on a response from the IPs to see if they would rather wait 2 or 3 weeks longer than originally planned or try a visit during the week.  London is 6 hours ahead of Iowa, so right now it's almost 9 PM there.  Interesting, huh?  Anyway, thought I'd better make an entry since I haven't in almost a week, although the excitement in this blog is enough to keep it going as it is, right? haha  I promise it will get more exciting...eventually I'll end up doing inseminations or something, that will be interesting!  Tally ho!

Texas, here I come!

Well, some more details have been hashed out and it seems I'll be going to Texas.  I'm working on the details as to when and such, but the couple seem to want to discuss the surrogacy details in person rather than via e-mails, so Texas, here I come!  There's still the Kentucky couple, of course.  I've been texting and emailing and facebooking the wife.  They still seem great, but I don't feel like I can really make an informed decision without meeting the Texas couple.  Just hope everything works out and I feel educated enough after this trip to decide!!

Decisions, Decisions!

Heard back from the TX couple this morning.  Turns out they are OK with just 2 of us flying down there to meet them.  I explained that we decided it wasn't a very good choice to take our 2 young children to meet strangers a thousand miles away.  So now I have a dilemma.  Is it OK for me to meet both couples and see who I match with better?  I feel a connection to both, so I honestly don't feel like I can decide from just emails back and forth.  My problem lies in that I know it's expensive to do that.  For 2 of us to go to TX it's going to cost about $2,000 when you add in everyone's lost wages, daycare, flights, hotel and a rental car.  Of course they don't seem to think that's outrageous (being from small-town Iowa, I do!), but that's a lot of money to spend if you're just meeting someone who MIGHT become your surrogate. 
Right now it's looking as if I'll be taking a friend with me, Bubba's not much of a traveller, but that would open up more weekends to go.  I have to make sure it will work for my wonderful daycare provider, since she has said she will keep the boys if needed as long as it is on a weekend that works for her.  Of course, this is not a problem, and I'm more than happy to help her earn some extra money, especially when it's money that I don't have to pay!  So I guess I just have to figure out if it's OK to meet both couples and make the decision then.  Anybody have any input on that one?

Bond, James Bond?

Well, I know this sounds a bit hasty, but my Texas couple appear to be MIA.  I haven't heard from them in 3 days, since I sent the email saying I'd prefer not to take the boys down there to meet them.  I know, 3 days really isn't that long, but when you consider it was daily, sometimes twice a day that we were emailing back and forth before that, 3 days IS a long time.  I keep telling myself he must be on his way home from London and hasn't had time to email me yet. And I keep thinking maybe he works for the CIA or something and has to fill in his boss on the top secret information he gathered while he was there.  Either way, it's gotten me down :(  But, on the brighter side, I haven't stopped sort of looking (mainly responding to requests to see if we match) and just sent a list of questions to a couple I had sort of been interested in moving forward with before but we both thought we had found our matches.  They seem very nice, we kind of connected (they thought they had a surro from IA and so we were exploring the IA legal hurdles together...although they say a relationship formed in a stressful situation never sticks lol) and I'm excited to see if we match.  I know it's a very selfish thought, but I just keep thinking I want to hurry up and start insems so that I can be pregnant over the wintertime, not summer lol I don't think I'll be lucky enough to pull a nice cool summer like last summer was, I DO live in Iowa! 

Texas, Anyone?

Last I heard from the couple in Texas, he said that Bubba and I should come down and bring both of the boys.  I almost died, that's going to cost just over $2,000!  Even if just 2 of us go they're looking at about $1100.  But hopefully they'll agree to that, because I don't relish the idea of attempting to fly with an 8 month old and a 5 year old who can't sit still for more than 2 seconds!  I wouldn't be able to take stuff on the plane for the baby's formula, Zach would be that kid running up and down the aisles, and Bradin just had tubes so he would probably be screaming from the strange pressure.  For some odd reason I just don't see it ending well.  Especially since that would mean Bubba would seriously consider abandoning us at the airport when we landed!  hehe Nah, he'd never abandon us, but he'd make sure we didn't try it again any time soon! 
Also, just wanted to note that I think I might have figured out how to make sure you get emails when I post a new post, so if you want to receive one, get me your email and I'll throw it in there!

Everything's Bigger In Texas!

And apparently the need for me is bigger there, as well!  I've been talking back and forth for several days with a couple from Texas.  They like my fees, they seem to be a fit with all the preferences I have (no selective reduction, only term if medically necessary, relationship after birth, etc.) and the husband (whom I have been conversing with) said they think they are ready to call their attorney and have a contract drawn up!  Of course, I will be meeting them in person before I sign it, just to make sure we really do match, but WOW it might actually happen!!!  And for those of you who are worried, NO I won't be going to Texas alone lol I'll take a friend with me if Bubba can't go.  Anyway, that's all the news I have right now, not much but it's sure exciting!!  Everyone keep those fingers crossed and keep saying those prayers!!  I hope this is the end of my search! 

The Roller Coaster Ride

Just wanted to update everyone that this might actually become a real possibility sometime soon!! I have been conversing with a couple from Texas for a while now, they seem like they're ready to move forward with me!! And I think they'll be an alright match!  Of course, things might fall apart now that I said something, but sometimes I just can't contain my excitement!!  They did ask if I would be able to travel for them, so that leads me to believe that they want to do insems in Texas, but hey, I'm ready for a vacation!  Asl ong as it'sn ot more than a few days, I'll be OK!  Gotta go celebrate with some chicken fajitas!!! WOO HOO!!!  Everyone say a prayer that this might be my match and keep your fingers crossed!!! 

People Want Me!!

Wow, I didn't really think I'd be that wanted!  Last post I said I posted a classified ad on one of the surrogacy sites...in the first 2 or 3 days I got a couple dozen email responses!  Several of them I simply wouldn't match with, but wow.  So at this point I'm looking closely at about 4 or 5 couples and 1 agency that I can't drop (she keeps saying my BMI isn't an issue, but I just don't see how they don't have BMI requirements).  I have had the decency to send nice "no thank you" emails to the people I simply won't match with and have gotten replies from most of them thanking me for responding.  Trust me, I've reached out to a few and the ones who don't respond stress me out lol!  The not knowing is MUCH worse than the kind "no".  And I'm being sure to warn them all about the legal expenses associated with Iowa.  (the lady from the agency said Iowa is a good state for surrogacy, that's a first!) Anyway, that's my update for today.  Is school ready to start yet?  Summer is long already!!

I'm in the classifieds!

Well, it may seem strange, but there are actually classified ads for surrogates and IPs.  No, I'm pretty sure they're not in the local newspaper, but there are several websites where you can "advertise" yourself for free.  I have been browsing the classifieds for quite some time now, but it just seemed easier to let them come to me.  I feel a little weird still looking, but it's not like I'm desperately seeking out ANY IPs that will have me.  I am still somewhat committed to the Chicago couple, but we left it at if someone (I or they) find a match before I lose the weight and we get a contract signed, then it's not meant to be.  I kind of feel like I'm cheating, lazily browsing when I'm bored, but I also don't want to put all my eggs in their basket, so to speak.  I'm continuing on with the impression that they are the couple for me, but I suppose there could be a better match for me.  Again, we're back to the "waiting is the hardest part"...I just don't know what to do with myself!!! 

Waiting is the hardest part!

Wow.  I hate waiting.  I know I haven't posted in the past few days, but nothing has really gone on!  I did get info from an attorney here in Iowa about how much a PBO (pre birth order, basically says the IPs would be the parents, not me and Bubba, on the birth certificate) would cost.  For a GS it would be $3,000 plus expenses (usually around $500) and for a TS it would be $6,000 plus expenses (apparently 2 court proceedings required for TS so it doubles the cost).  Why does it have to be so expensive?!  I know that EVERYTHING about the surrogacy process is expensive and time consuming, but it seems the one common complaint in EVERY surrogacy arrangement is dealing with the legalities.
But I've been browsing the surrogacy classifieds and replied to a few who have in turn replied to me.  One of the main drawbacks is for a GS most RE's want a BMI that is below 30.  Sadly mine is 35.5.  The couple who is using the clinic in Chicago's RE only requires below 35.  That means about 5 lbs I need to lose.  I've already lost about 10 since beginning the surrogacy adventure.  Not bad but as we all know, the farther we get down on that scale, the harder it is for the pounds to come off (especially when your husband suggests spaghetti and garlic bread for supper and you eat 3 pieces of garlic bread, fully knowing there's 10 grams of fat in EACH SLICE!!!)
Anyway, I get to go play mommy now, hope you all enjoy reading about nothing happening!

Here's a laugh for everyone!

I know some or most of you might have seen this on facebook, but I got a pretty big kick out of it for some reason.  Bohemian Rhapsody is one of my favorite songs, maybe that's it?  Either way, check this out!

http://www.youtube.com/watch#!v=80olbDws8r0

Hope it at least brings a smile to your face!!  Enjoy!

The Waiting Game

Well, I know this is way off subject, but today started out a bit rough, couldn't get to sleep last night so I was awake till midnight, and as usual, babies have that 6th sense and wake up extra early when you need to sleep in!  5 1/2 hours of sleep just isn't quite enough to function correctly!  Anyway, Zach's ride to VBS had 2 sick kids, so I got to take him.  I'm glad for that for 2 reasons: 1. I got to stop and chat with some "old" (from a while back, they're very young!) friends whom I hadn't seen for a while and 2. I got to observe Zach in his native habitat.  Unfortunately, Zach in his native habitat isn't always a good thing.  You know how no matter where you go (if there's kids there) there's bound to be that ONE kid who runs around like a heathen, can't sit still for more than 1 second and doesn't listen to ANYBODY when everyone's screaming for him to stop because there's a car about to hit him or something? Well, that's my Zach.  I love him to death, don't get me wrong, but sometimes I just want him to be someone else's problem!  Especially in public!  I know it's always more embarrassing when it's your kid, the other parents are probably thinking "wow, glad it's not just mine who does that!" but we are fairly consistent with the "fun" behaviors. Anyway, enough about the "joys" of parenting, back to surrogacy.  The joys of carrying someone else's baby!

So today is just another day in the waiting game.  Waiting for the Chicago IPs to get back from a vacation to see how they feel about the whole Iowa legal thing, waiting for the PA IP's to discuss my fees and get back to me on whether or not they're agreeable to them. I hate waiting.  I wish it was all instantaneous, I shoot them numbers, they come right back with a yes or no.  I can take a no, there's always other IPs.  The waiting is the hardest part!!
Oh, and I must mention I've gotten LOTS of compliments on this blog, which surprises me.  I can't imagine why you all really want to sit there and read me babbling on and on about this and that...although I do it so why should it surprise me??  I suppose I'm more interesting to others than I am to myself!  Thanks everyone for the support!   Now, back to those wonderful kiddos of mine.  They're around here somewhere, right? hehe

Surrogacy Information

So somebody was asking me questions about surrogacy and it struck me, that not everyone has done the research I've done (not that I know that much about it!) but I'll take the time to clue you all into a few things I do know.  First off, the abbreviations:

IPs- Intended parents: the mommy and daddy of the little one
LO-little one: the baby
IM-intended mother
IF-intended father
2ww-2 week wait: the 2 weeks after insemination or implantation where you WAIT WAIT WAIT to see if it took and you're preggers
?dp 2ww- replace the ? with a number and it's # of days past the 2ww.  This has something to do with whether or not you're pregnant, but I'm still slightly confused about this.  Anybody has any info, feel free to contribute!!
insems-inseminations: when the sperm is put into the surrogate's uterus
transfer: transfer of pre-fertilized egg (or embryo)
TS: traditional surrogate/surrogacy: when the surrogate's egg is used, she would be inseminated with the IF's sperm, either in her home or at a clinic via IUI
IUI-intrauterine insemination: a dr puts the sperm in the traditional surrogate's uterus to fertilize one or more of her eggs
GS-gestational surrogate: fertilized eggs/embryos is implanted in the surrogate's uterus where hopefully at least 1 attaches and becomes the baby

I think that pretty much covers the abbreviations.  If you don't understand anything I post, please don't hesitate to ask.  Sometimes I use abbreviations thinking "well, I know what it means, why doesn't everyone else?" lol I'm not the brightest at times! 

And for those of you wondering, I went into this thinking I was only open to GS.  The further I get into it, I'm also open to TS.  Yes, it's my egg, but to be honest, why wouldn't I want to share it with someone else who can't produce them?  I recently had a friend who had a "garage give-away" instead of a garage sale.  She gave away (as did her friends who were also inclined) things she no longer needed or wanted and thought someone else could use.  It's the same with my eggs.  I'm not planning to use them.  Should I just throw them away when there's women out there who are unable to produce their own?  God gave me the eggs, I need to share them.  And you may say "But, Abbe, won't you feel a connection to that baby, with it being your egg and all?"  Yes, I may feel a connection, but to be honest, I simply couldn't claim the baby as my own, for 2 reasons: Bubba isn't the father, and I truly do feel like my little family is complete.  We've practically grown out of our house, (speaking of which, if anybody has a nice 3-4 bedroom house they want to give me, I'd be more than happy to take it off your hands!) and I just have this feeling of completeness.  I also plan to maintain a relationship after the birth.  I would prefer a fairly open relationship, where I can send cards and gifts at birthdays and such, sort of like a distant aunt or something, but if the IPs are only comfortable with them emailing me photos and updates, I'm OK with that as well.  Those of you who know me, know that I like to give, so of course I want to be able to give gifts!! 

Alrighty, I hope that explained a few things for you all, like I said ask any questions you want.  If I don't know the answer, I'll do my best to figure it out!!

Matching: MUCH worse than dating!

First let me introduce myself.  My name is Abbe, I live in Iowa.  I've lived here all my life and for the most part, I love it here.  I have 2 boys, a 5 year old, Zach, and a 7 month old, Bradin. I love my boys...and they're boys through and through!!  They love to get dirty, play outside, help "work" on projects (it's an added bonus if it's a messy project!), ride motorcycles, and wrestle around.  Also, I'm a gabber (even online!), so don't start reading a post with only a minute to spare, it's going to take you longer than that, I can almost guarantee it! Those of you who know me will understand!
Since shortly after Zach was born (it was a FANTASTIC pregnancy-I was one of those pregnant women other women hate...never really complained, enjoyed almost every aspect of being pregnant) I started thinking about surrogacy.  Not really seriously, since I knew I wanted another child eventually, but thinking about it.  Last March we were surprised to find out we were going to have Bradin, and after he came along we were sure we were done having kids.  Then I began thinking more seriously about surrogacy. 
I can't imagine how it would feel to be told you can't have children.  As a mother, there's nothing better than the feeling of your baby kicking inside you, giving birth to him, then watching him grow up into a little gentleman!  While I know I'll never be able to help infertile women feel those pregnancy feelings, I can help by providing the biological child they crave so badly. 
So, here is where it starts: On April 9, 2010 I was looking online at a surrogacy community website, surrogatemother.com  and got to chatting with a wonderful couple from near Chicago.  Long story short, we just clicked.  We exchanged emails, several per day, for a while, then I sent them numbers for a contract, such as what I'd like to receive if I had to undergo a c-section, amniocentesis, or any other invasive procedure.  Also, what expenses they would cover in addition to any medical bills.  Everything seemed to be going well, they were just concerned about the Iowa surrogacy law.  Since there is NO Iowa surrogacy law, it makes it a bit more complicated.  In Illinois, they are able to simply go to an attorney, draw up a contract which includes the numbers we all agree on, have everyone sign it, and away we go to the clinic to begin transfer.  In Iowa, you have to get a pre-birth order (PBO).  From talking to a surrogacy attorney here in Iowa, it sounds like you just have to fill in the blanks in a form she has made up, she files it in my county with a judge, judge usually signs off on it that day (one time a judge wanted to look at it a bit closer, so it was 2 days later when that one was signed off on), then after the baby is born, file an amendment with baby's name and such so the IP's (Intended Parents) names can be put on the birth certificate.  Not  too difficult, right? and that way it's all legal I suppose.  Anyway, this has been bothering the IL couple, along with the fact that their RE (reproductive endocrinologist) has viewed my medical files and states that I'm good to go except my weight.  They want my BMI (body mass index, there's a formula using height and weight to figure it,but you can find free BMI calculators all over the place on the internet) below 35.  So, after about 2 months of talking with the IPs from Illinois, we left it at while I lost the weight (only about 5 lbs away today!) we'd just wait and if I or they found someone else in the meantime, then it wasn't meant to be. 
Today I was online and a lady just randomly started chatting with me.  At first I was very confused, thinking "Am I supposed to know this lady?" then I realized she was searching for a surrogate.  This couple is from Pennsylvania and they seem like a very nice couple. Our husbands have 1 thing in common: harleys.  Anyway, she and I chatted for a while this morning and I sent her my contract numbers I had sent to the other couple, and she and her husband are going to discuss them and get back to me.  The drawback to the IL couple is that they were hoping we could deliver in IL so they don't have to do the PBO.  The PA couple is happy with me using my regual OB (the AMAZING Dr. Heather Marthers from Washington, IA) and delivering there.  I know Dr. Marthers was very excited the day I went into her office to drop off the address to send my records to and sign the release.  I can only imagine how excited she will be to doctor a surrogacy!! 
Anyway, that's me and the beginning of my journey.  The hardest part (from what I understand) is matching.  I can't wait to find that perfect couple and add them to my "family".  As the IM (intended mother) I spoke with this morning said "you can't go through everything a surrogacy entails and NOT become like family!" I love ti and I'm going to remember it forever!